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the story of my life...
Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.
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Friday
January 27th, 2006
ahhhhhhhhhhhh
Why the fuck does bad things always happend to me :( My dad was told he had to spend quality time with me, his reply was: "I'd rather die a slow and painful death than see that bitch ever again." suposibly I ruined his life. My mom and his divorce is all my fault, my brother acting up at school is also my fault, My sisters attitude is yet again, my fault.
So Everything that goes wrong in his life is MY FAULT
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Thursday
October 20th, 2005
Man, I want to join boxing!!
There is so many hot guys there... like Joey.
anyways he`s really hot, he`s been boxing for eight years and he`s a singer and a guitarist in some kind of band.
see how much you learn when you let people walk you home...
xx thank you jessica xx
the funniest thing happend i aske jessica to tell him i thought he was hot and i guess she didn`t cause when ever we walked outside he asked what she wanted to tell him. i told him i thought he was hot and he said... "SO r u"..
i felt like soooooo special...
Mood:  flirty
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Thursday
September 29th, 2005
Wow... i haven't been on this thing for ages... anywho... james is going to die!!! hehehehehe...
I kind of like this guy named Jason... he's pretty cute and you know what they say about black guys.....
they shure can jump... lol
i'm really bored right now and i'm just babaling... so yeah
Mina i want to fuck you.... lol ;) Rach you too...
anywho enought about me ... lets talk about me ...
I'm 5'4 blonde single..... lol jk
well i think i waisted enough of your time... see you guys & gals later....
Mood:  chipper
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Monday
July 18th, 2005
Wow it's been a while. this summer sucks. i haven't really done anything, cept meet Ryan.. he really hot and he's the biggest sweetheart. yeah things are kind of boring... i meen.. i'm having lots of fun with Ryan... *crooked smile*
anyways.. Mina i miss you... rach i miss you too !!!!
jesse i'll see you soon... everyone else can go to hell...hahahaha just kidding
[Ryan] i don't kno who u ppl r but what's goin on???
Mood:  bouncy
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Sunday
June 26th, 2005
Yeah the summer has barely started and it already broing... i have to babysit all summer and i don't want to... anyways molson is cute and i don't care what you say jesse if he ever askes me out i'm saying yes.. cause i'm the "slut of the town"-(quoting lil jon) anyways he can lick my dead dogs left nut.. but yeah jesse what the hell are you telling this kid cause seriously he has to get a life if all he's doing with his time is spreading rumors about me ... anyways ( hehe i like this word) i came to the conclusion that sicili is a very funny word and so is hippopautamus hehehehe
eh mina! you have to go on msn soon cause i have the best emoticon!!!
it's a kinky hippo!!!! yeah long live the hippos!!!
gotta love the chatsites!!!
Mood: hahaha i'm a crazy juice box!!
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Tuesday
June 21st, 2005
GERMAN BOY WON`T STOP TALKING TO ME!!!
IT`S NOT JESSE.P JUST TO LET YOU KNOW!!!
EH RACH HE WAS PRETTY UGLY EH? AND i TOLD HIM HE WAS HOT EWWW
Mood: giddy
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Monday
June 20th, 2005
Yeah there`s this guy that lives around my house, and he`s pretty cute. He`s really nice too. Mina knows who I`m talking about!!! right hun???
anyways his name is Molson, and Yeah as you probably guess I like him...
Mood:  bored
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Friday
June 17th, 2005
today was boring
A certain someone had to have thing their way!!!
Mood:  moody
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Friday
June 17th, 2005
Hey,
Jesse are you mad at me? Cause you've been acting wierd latley. I know Brandon hates me and so does Rachel, I was just wondering if you did too.
And Rachel I understand if you hate me, my comment in live journal was random. And if I could take it back I would but I'm just jealious that you have a boyfriend that treats you like your a princess and I'm always stuck with the ones that constantly want to fuck, and if you don't fuck them they`ll dump you.
So yeah that's the reason, I finally admitted to it. so yeah If you can forgive me, that would be great!!
Oh and Bran, I don't know why you hate me but I'm sure it's a good reason.
Mood: at slef!
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Monday
June 13th, 2005
Durring the weekend I met this guy from pensillvania!!! he's so cute
if your asking how well he came to Cornwall for his dad's b-day
he's 16, blonde hair green eyes and very sexy!!!
hehehe I'm so happy!!!!
Mood: ;) someone's going to have fun
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Monday
June 13th, 2005
People have a tendancy to backstab me! Or one day they're all buddy buddy with me and the next they're mad at me... Well fuck you!
I'm fed up wiht trying to be nice. You don't like the way I am or who I'm friends with. Then I don`t need you.
I'm tired of have "friends" or so they call themselves... that get mad at you or give you dirty looks just because you hang out with someone they don`t like, fuck it I give up on being nice to you!!!
You had your fun now, it's my turn, but yet I'm not doign what you did to me cause I'm not that low! so yeah fuck it !!!
Mood: gloomy
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Wednesday
June 8th, 2005
SORRY RACHEL!! DIDN`T MEAN TO MAKE YOU MAD JUST SAYING WHAT'S ON MY MIND, I DIDN`T THINK FIRST!
Mood:  DON'T CARE ANY MORE
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Monday
June 6th, 2005
\(())/
..||..
..||..
./..\.
Look at the lines not the dots
Mood:  hot
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Sunday
June 5th, 2005
Wow! This is cool!
hehe It's a butterfly! Man I feel great today.
εïз
Isn't it cute?
Anyways, No one called me this weekend !!!!
I'm disapointed in you guys!!
I'll get over it in 2 seconds. 1...2...
So yeah anyways I didn't make any money this weekend, all gone!!!
Mood: bouncy
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Friday
June 3rd, 2005
Okay, well IT`s only the brgining of the day and I`m ready to go home. I`m fed up with certain peoples bullshit. I`m tired of getting told off then steped all over I won`t take it anymore.
Mood: cranky
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Thursday
June 2nd, 2005
today sucked
Mood:  blank
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Tuesday
May 31st, 2005
The day isn't even done and already 5 people said I was fat, But the one that accually hurt me was when steve said it. It made me cry but yeah said said " great now she`s crying on the dry wall." fuck him he should talk about people being fat, like what does me wiegh like 275 lbs, like seriously no one funcking likes him and he`s a dfat ugly worthless jackass! I'm fed up with his fucking bullshit, he better watch what he sais about me. caus eI know people who really don`t like him and they would kick his ass if they found out what he`s been saying about me!! My 11 uncles are here for me. and if he thinks that I`m joking he has another fucking thing comming, Man My dad would take him on.
Mood: crushed
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Friday
May 27th, 2005
OK. Here's a really good update.
Monday: It was a non-stop day while My mopm cleaned the oven and the floor, I started cleaning the basement and I cleaned and organised Me, My brother and sister's room. While I was cleaning I came upon Alexie's ( my sister ) journal. She thinks that me being in a groupe home and my parents getting divorced is her fault. But it isn't, she has nothing ot do with any of it. I wish she could tell me how she feels. I don't think she understands that I feel guilty for what I put her through. I wish I could help her. and I wish she would pretty much just talk to me. Mom is getting all worked up about my (step) dad having a girlfriend. But what she doesn't see is that when she gets all worked up, so do I. I don't think she realises how much I wish I could kill him.( Wring his neck, or slit his throght, smash his head in witha sludge hammer, bash his face in with my fist!) So yeah her being depressed is affecting everyone not just her.
Tuesday: It was a pretty good day up until I seen my cousin Kayla. She's pretty good at making people feel like shit. First of all, she treats my friends like shit (gives Rachel dirty look that soap couldn't even clean) and I'm sorrybut I'm going to defend them before her. She thinks that she's better that me because she has a boyfriend... Well I don't need a man to make me happy. And I don't need 50 pounds of make-up just to look good it come naturally to me. At least I don't have to ditch my family just so I can get laid. (OH! THE JOYS OF BEING VIRGIN!!!) Stupid slut. Man I don't know why I let her get to me? It's not like she was a good friend or anyhting.Wehn her stupid ugly ass friends who get mad at me, she always too their side, What a good friend eh? If it weren't for her I would never had ended up in a groupe home.
Wednesday: Ok. This was a crazy day. I almost got kicked out of school because of glue on nails. I decide to go out for lunch when I wans't suposed to. I snaped on teacher's when they didn't deserve it. Man I am a bitch. Just like everyone sais. I want help, cause the kind of help I'm getting right now isn't to great. Sorry but yelling at me won't make me listen or like you. It just makes me do the oposite if you haven't noticed. Mom isn't in the MOOD to talk to me, but yet Maxim( brother) can climb all over her liek as if she were a junglegym. In my opinion there's a litlle bit of favoritism going on. Just cause dad sais the the kids are scared to come home doesn't mean she can ignore the one that isn't. (ME) Like that's a good way to make me feel like shit. Then she wonders why I have anger and depression problems. Maybe if you didn't avoid me and ignore me, I wouldn't have these problems. If you agve me the attention I wanted (wich is only like 2 minutes) I wouldn't act up to get it in other ways. Have you ever thought maybe that's what I needed?
K well I'm Tired So yeah the rest of the week was ok I Guess, Nothing to complain about... so yeah Good night...
Mood: cranky
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Thursday
May 26th, 2005
Man I ahte being suspended it's so boring!!
So yeah brandon has really nice legs!!! lol they`re so white and tiny it`s kind of gross... love you bran
well I don`t know what else to write so yeah...
please comment...
Mood: blah
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Friday
May 20th, 2005
Man, don't you just feel like going to sleep and never wake up. Welll I do! Because people always seem to find away to make you feel like shit. And their's nothing you can do to make them stop. I wish I could just cease to exist. In my point of view their ius not point to my life. And I wish that someone can just put me out of my god damn misery.
Misery: No one trusts me
No one cares
I get blaimed for stuff that I didn`t do.
No one wants me around
(If they do it's to rub something in my face)
I hate it. People always find ways to bring me down. so like I said I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. Thanks people!
Mood: depressed
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Thursday
May 19th, 2005
Rachel seems mad at me and she sais she isn`t but yet dirty look are all I seem to be getting... If I did anything to make you mad I'm sorry but I don`t remember doing anything ....
Mood:  confused
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Saturday
May 14th, 2005
caught up
Man I caught up on my sleep. We'll see what that does maybe I won't be a "bitch" anymore. So yeah, I'm sorry for my attitude lately. But I haven't been sleeping that great for the past couple nights and if I don't sleep I'm really grouchy. Anyways, I wish I could have the guy I like. But he doesn't seem to like me and that's because of the reputation I set for myself and I hate it. Sometimes I can't help but snap cause, sometimes it's the only way people listen to me. So yeah I'm sorry. And brand if you don't want to go out with me it's ok. I don't want you to fell like I'm forcing you.
It was the kid I babysit's birthday today and I was going to shoot all the little kids. I aslo heard some stuff come out of my mom's mouth that I never want to hear again. It was sick man. I didn't know blowing up baloons could become something perverted. I guess anything is posible.
I need to make 137,98$ by the end of next month. It's going to be a mission in a half.
The cats are making alot of noise, I can't even hear myself think. HA HA
Me think?? HA That doesn't happend often lol.
Yeah I have to start excersising, I want to loose weight for the summer. I don't wan to be embaressed to wear a bathing suit or shorts or skirts.
I'm not saying I'm fat, but I think it'll do me some good maybe I'll have a higher self esteem.
Jesse if you want to hear a good country song listen to Mr.Mom
Mood:  determined
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Wednesday
May 11th, 2005
Let me catter to you hun lol I like this song
Babe I see you working hard
Want to let you know that I'm proud
let you know I admire what you do
Don't know if I need to reasure you
My life would be purposeless without you
If I want it(you got it)
When I ask you (you provide it)
You inspire me to be better
You chalenge me for the better
Sit back and let me poor all my love letters
Let me help you
take off your shoes
Untie your shoe strings
Take off your cuff links
What you want to eat boo
Let me feed you
Let me run your bath water
What ever you desire
I'll supply ya
Sing you a song
Turn my game on
I'll brush your hair
Put your do-rag on
Want a foot rub
Want a manicure
Baby I'm yours
I want to cater to you boy
Let me cater to you
Cause baby, this is your day
Do anything for my man
Baby, you blow me away
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert
And so much more, anything you want
Let me cater to you
Inspire me from the heart
Can't nothing tear us apart
You're all I want in a man
I put my life in your hands
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert
And so much more, anything you want
I wanna cater to you
Baby, I'm happy your home
Let me hold you in my arms
I just wanna take the stress away from you
Makin' sure your that I'm doing my part
Boy, is there something you need me to do
If you want (I got it)
Just say the word I (I'ma try it)
I know whatever I'm not fulfillin'
Another woman is willin'
I'm gonna fulfill you, mind, body and spirit
I promise ya, I keep myself up
Remain the same chick you fell in love with
I'll keep it tight, keep my figure right
I'll keep my hair fixed, rockin' the hottest outfits
When you come home late, tap me on my shoulder
I'll roll over
Baby, I heard you, I'm here to serve you
If it's love you need, to give it is my joy
All I wanna do
Is cater to you, boy
Let me cater to you
Cause baby, this is your day
Do anything for my man
Baby, you blow me away
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert
And so much more, anything you want
Let me cater to you
Inspire me from the heart
Can't nothing tear us apart
You're all I want in a man
I put my life in your hands
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert
And so much more, anything you want
I wanna cater to you
I wanna give my breath, my strength, my will to be there
That's the least I can do, let me cater to you
Through the good, the bad, the ups and the downs
I'll still be here for you, let me cater to you
Cause you're beautiful (you're beautiful), I love the way you are
Fulfill your every desire, your wish is my command
I wanna cater to my man
Your heart, so pure, your love shines through
The darkness, we'll get through
(So much) so much of me is you
I wanna cater to my man
Let me cater to you
Cause baby, this is your day
Do anything for my man
Baby, you blow me away
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert
And so much more, anything you want
Let me cater to you
Inspire me from the heart
Can't nothing tear us apart
You're all I want in a man
I put my life in your hands
I got your slippers, your dinner, your dessert
And so much more, anything you want
I wanna cater to you
I Really Love This Song!!! It's so cute!!!
Mood:  thoughtful
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Wednesday
May 11th, 2005
Never mind
LOVE = PAIN
MY FINAL THOUGHT WILL BE A BULLET THROUGH MY FUCKING HEAD!!
~*~CONFUSED~*~
MY KNEES START TO SHAKE
WHEN YOUR IN SIGHT
MY MIND IS FILLED WITH WONDER
MY HEART IS FILLED WITH FRIGHT
WHEN WILL THIS FEELING STOP?
WHEN DID IT START?
HOW CAN I LISTEN TO MY MIND
WITHOUT BREAKING MY HEART
I'M SO CONFUSED
WHAT SHOULD I DO?
I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING
EXCEPT FOR YOU
SHOULD I IGNORE YOU
OR JUST GIVE IT TIME
I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT
MY HEART CONTROLS MY MIND
Mood: disappointed
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sad_n_hurting's journal